i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

whats gay and american? a gay american

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

like this or you will die at some point in your life

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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