Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Maths.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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