Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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