Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops