what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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dallen loves penis

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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