What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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