knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops