What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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