How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Chris is hairy

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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A fat guy!

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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