ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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i have two hands.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops