What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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My cat just died.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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