Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops