What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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