What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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