What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops