Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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All of these jokes are about white people

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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