- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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