Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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My cat just died.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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