What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

A house comes around the corner.

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Gustavo Andrade

A baby seal walks into a club.

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

it

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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