Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

Apple hates Blackberry.

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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