why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops