A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have a really funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops