Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops