What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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