why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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This sentance contains three errers

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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