Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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call me maybe.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops