A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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