How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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what's white and sticky semen

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops