What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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