What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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