What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -34

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops