There was a chicken. It squarked.

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why? Because.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops