If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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My cat just died.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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