I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What is the difference?

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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Women's Rights..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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