a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

thumb_up thumb_down +2

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I like the color potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops