Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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time to spruce up!

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops