Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Tunechi

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Yes

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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