Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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I'm so punny.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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