My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Jack Stevens

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

If life gives you lemonade.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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