A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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