A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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