Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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