What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

A man died.

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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