How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

Knock Knock Who's there

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

A man did not like this site

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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