Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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