Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops