"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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