A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops