What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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