Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops