Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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