Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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