Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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