Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

quantum physics?

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...