Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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someone called someone else a frog

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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