I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

Why do fat people commit suicide

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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