Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Puns are terrible. I love them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -14

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops