Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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