What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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