A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

irish man drinking john smiths

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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