what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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