Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

guess what what ...

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...