Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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