In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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I love pissing people off :P

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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poo

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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the economy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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