What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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like most people my age. im 27

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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Knock, Knock Come in

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bangers and mash?

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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